The closer you get to Heaven the more likely it will be that you will see it…
For those that don’t know, Runyon Canyon is a majestic place filled with endless fields of green where at the peak of the highest plateau you can see to the very bottom of the hillside. Yet, there is more to this place then just “amber waves of grain.” Sadly, many people will never experience the magic and wonder [of Runyon Canyon] which is hidden in plain sight simply due to the fact that they (people) walk around like a horse with blinders on; inevitably their sight is limited to nothing more then mere tunnel vision.
However, unlike those people who aimlessly scurry around the streets and subways of a big metropolis; who are unaware of the forces around them, I have always tried to see far beyond this world and into the next; the unseen world.
For as long as I can recall I have always attempted to figure out why we are here in the first? Is it possible that mankind simply spawned out of some sort of primordial ooze? Or is the answer to that question something greater then we could have ever imagined? Could it be that our existence serves only one purpose? A simpler purpose that we are too afraid to accept as truth? What if we are all part of master plan of sorts where each of us determine the outcome of the whole? Could it really be that we are each an extension of each other; a small part of something bigger and better? One heart, one soul, perhaps? Though, even if only half of what I just described is in fact true the question still remains, “What purpose would that be?”
Now, I cannot tell you why YOU are here or why you were born into existence in the first place. I can only tell you why I am here. You see, it took me nearly forty years to figure out and understand. At last, I can honestly argue my point and in some fashion or another perhaps even help you find your “purpose?”
Moving on, let me continue where I left off previously…If you recall I began to tell you about, Eddie, the three legged dog who in many ways resembles my beloved daughter, Gabbie. For nearly two years now I have been plagued by thoughts to horrific to describe; nightmares that brought me to the brink of insanity, and pain so immense that the mere thought of it makes me want to do the unthinkable – give up.
Until recently every day has been nothing less then a Hellish experience and no matter how many times I tried to express my emotions to family and friends all anyone ever told me was, “Life goes on.” It was this attitude, this selfish and ignorant response that enraged me; rage which became so great that it somehow turned inward. In time I realized that I wasn’t directing this rage at those responsible for inflicting it on me in the first place but rather I was inadvertently directing it at myself.
Over the months it (the rage) began to eat away at me and turned me into a former shadow of myself; I became bitter, cold and, even, heartless. I no longer wanted to be around people and disappeared all together. Nor did I laugh like I used to even when I had every right to do so. I dwelled on the dispeicable behavior of the people who I once called “friend.” I came to see that the only thing that mattered to them was, well, themselves. I was disgusted, embarrassed even to call myself “human.” Yet, that was when I finally realized that very few people, if any all truly understand what it means to be human in the first place. Not long after I became Hellbent on changing peoples behaviour; changing the world, and, even, forcing change upon people if it came to such a thing.
From the very first day I lost my beloved, Sasha many strange yet amazing things have occurred. It seemed that Runyon Canyon would finally make all the doubt, disbelief and questions evaporate like water into air. Eddie was not just a dog rather he was vessel of some sort. As I stood on the sloping hill looking at Eddie my brain was suddenly flooded memories of my beloved daughter, Gabbie. Then, without warning something even more mircalous occurred.
I regained my composure and forced the tears back into my eye sockets. Suddenly, I felt compelled to turn and look behind me. My jaw dropped and seconds later I lifted the sunglasses from my face and placed them ontop my head, then squinted my eyes and said softly, “Sash?” I then stepped closer to a dog who had just turned the corner; it was on a leash and its owner was struggling to control it. I locked eyes with this dog; a Boxer (who was in every fashion similar to my daughter, Sasha). The Boxer then looked at me intently and became overly excited and then ran in my direction. I glanced back to Eddie, then back to the Boxer (who name I was never able to ask). I tried as hard as I could but I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore; I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I whispered aloud, “Girls? Is it you?”